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Anger Management 2
Presented by: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes
Executive Director, AllCEUs

Counseling Continuing Education Course can be purchased for this at

~    Explore multiple skills necessary for Anger Management
~    Mindful self-awareness
~    Distress tolerance
~    Values clarification/Goal setting
~    Motivational enhancement skills
~    Cognitive behavioral skills
~    Cognitive processing skills
~    Communication skills
~    Compassion focused skills
~    Self-esteem building skills
~    Wellness skills (Vulnerability identification and prevention)
Mindful Self-Awareness
~    Becoming aware of your physical, emotional and mental state in the present moment by
~    Doing regular mindfulness minutes
~    Identifying your vulnerabilities and adjusting accordingly
~    Learning to identify the components of your feelings’
~    Emotional
~    Thoughts
~    Physical sensations
~    Behavioral urges

Distress Tolerance
~    Distract don’t react
~    Ride the wave
~    Positive coping thoughts or affirmations
~    Mindful breathing
~    Do the opposite
~    Sublimation

Values Clarification/Goal Setting
~    What are your values…things you want to be known for? (compassion, creativity, loyalty, patience, tolerance, determination, honesty, faithfulness, courage, optimism, integrity)
~    In your relationships with others
~    In your work
~    What is important to you…
~    In 5 years what do you need to have to be content?
~    Alternate exercise:  What 20 things do you need to be happy…  Eliminate until 2 things at a time until there are 6 left

Acceptance and Commitment Interventions
~    Ask why does client consider anger to be a problem?
~    Determine if anger is part of experiential avoidance
~¬†¬† ¬†Determine if anger is ‚Äėinstrumental‚Äô ‚Äď ie to manipulate others
~    Distinguish feeling angry from acting aggressively
~    Increase body awareness: mindfulness of physical sensations that indicate anger is rising.
~    Defusion around unhelpful cognitions that feed anger or justify aggressive behavior.
~    Increase awareness of anger triggers
~¬†¬† ¬†Learn to ‚Äėsurf‚Äô anger.
~    Connect with values: what sort of partner/parent/ friend/ worker do you want to be?
~    Imaginary and in vivo rehearsal of values-consistent responses

Motivational Enhancement
~    Cognitive Distortions and Unhelpful Thoughts
~    All or Nothing
~    Feelings are facts
~    Tunnel vision
~    Personalization
~    Magnification
~    Fallacy of fairness
~    ABCs
~    Activating Event
~    Beliefs
~    Consequences
~    Dispute unhelpful beliefs
~    Evaluate the best use of your energy

~    Play out the tape…
~    X happened and I got angry because…. which is related to which threat (rejection, failure, loss of control, the unknown)
~    What is the evidence for and against
~    Do I have tunnel vision/focused on just one aspect
~    How might I have caused or contributed to the event
~    What else might have contributed to the other person’s reaction
~    Am I using all or none terms
~    Am I confusing something that is possible with something that is likely?
~    Are your reactions based on feelings or facts?
~    Stay seated or both people go on a walk side by side
~    One person talks at a time
~    Person 1 states her position
~    Person 2 listens and paraphrases what she think she heard
~    Person 1 confirms or corrects.
This process repeats until person 1 feels understood.
~    Then person 2 gets to state her perspective
~    Person 1 listens and paraphrases what she think she heard
~    Person 2 confirms or corrects.
This process repeats until both people feel understood and the problem is resolved or tabled for later

~    Try to start with something positive…
~    I appreciate that…
~¬†¬† ¬†Do not use ‚Äúbut‚ÄĚ
~    No interrupting
~    One problem at a time
~    Identify your part in the situation (if any)
~    Use objective, measurable language
~    Avoid using all or nothing terms
~    Avoid catastrophizing
~    Propose solutions

~    Instead of staying angry at yourself for doing something wrong or failing at something
~    Think about what your values are regarding how to treat people.  Treat yourself that way
~    Think what you would say to your child
~    Identify what you can learn from the situation
~    Instead of staying angry at others
~    Think about what your values are regarding how to treat people, and choose a consistent course of action
~    Identify 3 alternate reasons this may have happened
~    If it is to manipulate others to do something for you or to get attention…do it yourself.

~    Lack of self-esteem contributes to constantly seeking external approval and being hypersensitive to threats of rejection and/or isolation
~    Values based activities build self esteem
~    A stranger on the street gives you an ugly look
~    You take it as a personal rejection
~    Your initial response is to lash out
~    You want to be thought of as a compassionate, caring person
~    Instead you smile and say good morning
Self-Esteem Enhancement Planning
~    Who I Am vs. Who I Want to Be Activity
~    Top 5 Values Activity
~    What can you do to build them
~    Keep a journal each day of what you did to embody them
~    Value-A-Day
~    The Friends You Keep (Mirror Exercise)
~¬†¬† ¬†‚ÄúWay to Go!‚ÄĚ List (Tear down brick wall, or build up eggs)
~    Motivational sayings about…
~    Rejection/Acceptance
~    Failure/Success
~    The Unknown/Taking Chances
~    Loss of Control / Trust /Faith

Wellness Skills
~    Increase the happy
~    Don’t sweat the small stuff
~    Keep a gratitude journal
~    Put a priority on relaxation
~    Limit the irritants
~    Counter every negative with a positive
~    Get quality sleep
~    Eat a healthy diet
~    Exercise
~    Address pain issues
Wellness Skills
~    Know yourself and be your best friend
~    Develop a social support system
~    Make your environment welcoming and comfortable

~    Anger is a response to a threat
~    As children many things can be threatening, and a single event can be overgeneralized
~    Adults may need to challenge those beliefs
~    Level the playing field by taking care of yourself like you would care for your child
~    Address vulnerabilities
~    Learn about your anger triggers
~    Develop coping strategies to deal with threats of rejection, isolation, failure, the unknown and loss of control
~    Identify your values and values-consistent reactions to threats (note card)
~    Learn ways do de-escalate
~    Breathe
~    Strengths-based coping mantra
~    Disengage
~    Take a walk
~    Phone a friend
~    Distract
~    Urge/Feelings surf
~    Practice, practice, practice….
~    Keep an anger log to track your progress

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