Anger Management 2
Presented by: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes
Executive Director, AllCEUs
Counseling Continuing Education Course can be purchased for this at https://allceus.com/member/cart/index/product/id/581/c/
Objectives
~ Explore multiple skills necessary for Anger Management
~ Mindful self-awareness
~ Distress tolerance
~ Values clarification/Goal setting
~ Motivational enhancement skills
~ Cognitive behavioral skills
~ Cognitive processing skills
~ Communication skills
~ Compassion focused skills
~ Self-esteem building skills
~ Wellness skills (Vulnerability identification and prevention)
Mindful Self-Awareness
~ Becoming aware of your physical, emotional and mental state in the present moment by
~ Doing regular mindfulness minutes
~ Identifying your vulnerabilities and adjusting accordingly
~ Learning to identify the components of your feelings’
~ Emotional
~ Thoughts
~ Physical sensations
~ Behavioral urges
Distress Tolerance
~ Distract don’t react
~ Ride the wave
~ Positive coping thoughts or affirmations
~ Mindful breathing
~ Do the opposite
~ Sublimation
Values Clarification/Goal Setting
~ What are your values…things you want to be known for? (compassion, creativity, loyalty, patience, tolerance, determination, honesty, faithfulness, courage, optimism, integrity)
~ In your relationships with others
~ In your work
~ What is important to you…
~ In 5 years what do you need to have to be content?
~ Alternate exercise: What 20 things do you need to be happy… Eliminate until 2 things at a time until there are 6 left
Acceptance and Commitment Interventions
~ Ask why does client consider anger to be a problem?
~ Determine if anger is part of experiential avoidance
~ Determine if anger is ‘instrumental’ – ie to manipulate others
~ Distinguish feeling angry from acting aggressively
~ Increase body awareness: mindfulness of physical sensations that indicate anger is rising.
~ Defusion around unhelpful cognitions that feed anger or justify aggressive behavior.
~ Increase awareness of anger triggers
~ Learn to ‘surf’ anger.
~ Connect with values: what sort of partner/parent/ friend/ worker do you want to be?
~ Imaginary and in vivo rehearsal of values-consistent responses
Motivational Enhancement
CBT
~ Cognitive Distortions and Unhelpful Thoughts
~ All or Nothing
~ Feelings are facts
~ Tunnel vision
~ Personalization
~ Magnification
~ Fallacy of fairness
~ ABCs
~ Activating Event
~ Beliefs
~ Consequences
~ Dispute unhelpful beliefs
~ Evaluate the best use of your energy
CPT
~ Play out the tape…
~ X happened and I got angry because…. which is related to which threat (rejection, failure, loss of control, the unknown)
~ What is the evidence for and against
~ Do I have tunnel vision/focused on just one aspect
~ How might I have caused or contributed to the event
~ What else might have contributed to the other person’s reaction
~ Am I using all or none terms
~ Am I confusing something that is possible with something that is likely?
~ Are your reactions based on feelings or facts?
Communication
~ Stay seated or both people go on a walk side by side
~ One person talks at a time
~ Person 1 states her position
~ Person 2 listens and paraphrases what she think she heard
~ Person 1 confirms or corrects.
This process repeats until person 1 feels understood.
~ Then person 2 gets to state her perspective
~ Person 1 listens and paraphrases what she think she heard
~ Person 2 confirms or corrects.
This process repeats until both people feel understood and the problem is resolved or tabled for later
Communication
~ Try to start with something positive…
~ I appreciate that…
~ Do not use “but”
~ No interrupting
~ One problem at a time
~ Identify your part in the situation (if any)
~ Use objective, measurable language
~ Avoid using all or nothing terms
~ Avoid catastrophizing
~ Propose solutions
Compassion
~ Instead of staying angry at yourself for doing something wrong or failing at something
~ Think about what your values are regarding how to treat people. Treat yourself that way
~ Think what you would say to your child
~ Identify what you can learn from the situation
~ Instead of staying angry at others
~ Think about what your values are regarding how to treat people, and choose a consistent course of action
~ Identify 3 alternate reasons this may have happened
~ If it is to manipulate others to do something for you or to get attention…do it yourself.
Self-Esteem
~ Lack of self-esteem contributes to constantly seeking external approval and being hypersensitive to threats of rejection and/or isolation
~ Values based activities build self esteem
~ A stranger on the street gives you an ugly look
~ You take it as a personal rejection
~ Your initial response is to lash out
~ You want to be thought of as a compassionate, caring person
~ Instead you smile and say good morning
Self-Esteem Enhancement Planning
~ Who I Am vs. Who I Want to Be Activity
~ Top 5 Values Activity
~ What can you do to build them
~ Keep a journal each day of what you did to embody them
~ Value-A-Day
~ The Friends You Keep (Mirror Exercise)
~ “Way to Go!” List (Tear down brick wall, or build up eggs)
~ Motivational sayings about…
~ Rejection/Acceptance
~ Failure/Success
~ The Unknown/Taking Chances
~ Loss of Control / Trust /Faith
Wellness Skills
~ Increase the happy
~ Don’t sweat the small stuff
~ Keep a gratitude journal
~ Put a priority on relaxation
~ Limit the irritants
~ Counter every negative with a positive
~ Get quality sleep
~ Eat a healthy diet
~ Exercise
~ Address pain issues
Wellness Skills
~ Know yourself and be your best friend
~ Develop a social support system
~ Make your environment welcoming and comfortable
Summary
~ Anger is a response to a threat
~ As children many things can be threatening, and a single event can be overgeneralized
~ Adults may need to challenge those beliefs
~ Level the playing field by taking care of yourself like you would care for your child
~ Address vulnerabilities
~ Learn about your anger triggers
~ Develop coping strategies to deal with threats of rejection, isolation, failure, the unknown and loss of control
Summary
~ Identify your values and values-consistent reactions to threats (note card)
~ Learn ways do de-escalate
~ Breathe
~ Strengths-based coping mantra
~ Disengage
~ Take a walk
~ Phone a friend
~ Distract
~ Urge/Feelings surf
~ Practice, practice, practice….
~ Keep an anger log to track your progress
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