Anger Management 1
Presented by: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes
Executive Director, AllCEUs
Counseling Continuing Education Course can be purchased for this at https://allceus.com/member/cart/index/product/id/581/c/
Objectives
~ Explore the function of anger
~ Identify the costs and benefits of anger
~ Identify anger triggers
~ Rejection/Isolation
~ Failure
~ Loss of control
~ The unknown
What is Anger
~ Half of the fight or flight reaction
~ Based on prior learning, the brain interprets a threat to person, property or self-concept
~ Norepinephrine/adrenaline is secreted to prepare to fight or flee
~ Heart rate and respiration increases, focus becomes singular (tunnel vision), sweating begins
~ Urge to lash out verbally and/or physically
~ Feelings: More than just anger
Costs of Anger
~ Social
~ Pushes people away / Increases isolation
~ Intimidates people (Respect vs. Intimidation)
~ Perceived by children which increases their anxiety
~ Physical
~ Uses a ton of energy for what is often not a major threat
~ Causes injury from others & self (ulcers, self harm, heart attack, high cholesterol)
Costs of Anger cont…
~ Emotional
~ Reduces the amount of time to be happy (anger + time nurturing anger + time recovering from anger)
~ Can lead to depression
~ Environmental
~ Broken stuff (hands, windshields, plates)
~ Jail time
~ Reduces your options (relationships, work, housing)
~ Loss of employment
~ Anger episodes at work
~ Reduced productivity and increased illness due to anger
Benefits of Anger
~ Power: Pushes away or dominates a threat
~ Punishment/revenge to make others feel the same pain
~ Save face/reputation
~ Hide emotional pain
~ Get attention (alarm people, make a scene)
~ Change other people’s behavior
Origins of Anger
~ Feeling of a Threat
~ Society is less interdependent but we still need people (Barn Raising to Capitalism)
~ Valuing power and success above compassion
~ Harsh or disengaged parenting
~ Primitive coping skills
~ Low self-esteem / External validation
~ Threat Categories
~ Rejection/Isolation
~ Failure
~ The Unknown
~ Loss of Control
Origins of Anger
~ Threat Categories
~ Rejection/Isolation
~ Failure
~ The Unknown
~ Loss of Control
Anger Triggers
Anger & Irritability Vulnerabilities
~ Lack of sleep
~ Low blood sugar
~ Too many stimulants
~ Being sick or in pain
~ Being mindless and letting little things build up (think dirty laundry or weeds)
~ Depression
~ Too much estrogen or testosterone
~ Anxiety/stress (Bridezilla; Being spread too thin)
Addressing the Anger
~ Develop skills to tolerate distress and self-soothe
~ Distract don’t react
~ Journaling
~ Urge surfing
~ Develop mindful self-awareness for
~ Vulnerabilities
~ Anger warning signs
~ Anger triggers
~ Goals (make a goals card)
~ Eliminate as many anger triggers as possible
Emergency Anger Control
~ Stop
~ Breathe slowly
~ Repeat your confidence phrase 3 times
~ Take a walk
~ Identify your courses of action
~ Choose the course of action that is most in alignment with your goals card
~ Better relationship with kids/family/friends
~ More energy
~ Less desire to use drugs/alcohol
Addressing Anger Worksheet
~ When x happened I felt
Disrespected | Disappointed | Misunderstood | Embarrassed
Powerless | Jealous/Envious
~ Which triggered my fear of:
~ Rejection/Isolation because of the following thoughts…
~ Failure because of the following thoughts…
~ Loss of control because of the following thoughts…
~ The unknown because of the following thoughts…
Worksheet cont…
~ For every negative thought, develop a positive coping thought
~ Rejection/Isolation
~ Who do you have
~ How are you better off without that person in their current state (or yours)
~ Failure
~ What can you do well
~ What can you learn
~ Loss of control/The unknown
~ What is the most probable outcome
~ How have you handled situations like this before
Summary
~ Anger is a protective response to a threat
~ Due to a myriad of factors, people can become hypersensitive to threats
~ Extended periods of anger and irritability cause the stress response system to dial down sensitivity leading to depression
~ Many people with anger management issues have internalized negative self-talk from childhood
~ Directed at them
~ Interpreted by them
Summary
~ Anger is often reinforced by immediate, temporary relief/victory/vindication
~ Addressing anger involves helping the person
~ Learn to stop and de-escalate/downregulate
~ Identify and remember why change is important
~ Identify and develop alternative responses
~ Enhance self-esteem/reduce the need for external validation
~ Countercondition unnecessary threats
~ Become mindfully self-aware
~ Eliminate vulnerabilities
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