Child Development 101:
The Middle School Years
Presented by: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes
Executive Director, AllCEUs
Continuing Education (CE) credits can be earned for this presentation at https://allceus.com/member/cart/index/product/id/613/c/
Objectives
~ Review developmental tasks children accomplish at this stage
~ Examine how teens thinking patterns are different than that of both pre-teens and adults
~ Explore ways to assist teens in enhancing their self esteem
~ Review Kholberg’s theory of moral development
Kholberg’s Theory of Moral Development
~ Level 2 – Conventional morality (9+ years)
~ Internalized moral standards of valued adult role models.
~ Parents
~ Media
~ Community
~ Authority is internalized but STILL not questioned???
~ Encourage independent analysis of shoulds and musts
~ Explore/discuss social problems
~ Help teens learn to embrace acceptance of people (and themselves) regardless of other viewpoints
Kholberg’s Theory of Moral Development
~ Level 2 – Conventional morality (9+ years)
~ Reasoning is based on the norms of the peer group
~ Stage 3. Good Interpersonal Relationships.
~ Desire to be seen as being a good person by others.
~ Stage 4. Maintaining the Social Order. (Only 10-15% of adults reach this stage)
~ Awareness of the wider rules of society
~ Judgments concern upholding the law and to avoiding guilt.
Piaget
~ Formal Operational
~ Abstract thinking and hypothesizing begin
~ Inductive reasoning: My experiences lead me to predict….
~ Deductive reasoning: Based on a general principle, I can expect/predict
~ Teens begin to think more about moral, philosophical, ethical, social, and political issues that require theoretical and abstract reasoning
Maslow
~ Biological Needs –Preventing Vulnerabilities/Emotional Regulation
~ Sleep
~ Nutrition
~ Sunlight
~ Medical care
~ Exercise
~ Safety (External and Internal Bullying)
Maslow
~ Love, Belonging and Self-Esteem
~ Identity vs. Role Confusion (12-18 Years)
~ Search for a sense of self and personal identity, through exploration of personal values, beliefs and goals relating to many roles
~ Fidelity involves being able to accept others, even when there may be ideological differences.
~ Social Influences
~ Pubertal self-help – re. physical changes
~ Social support – protection against turmoil
~ Identity formation – mirror
~ Values clarification – sounding board
Characteristics of High Self-Esteem
~ Act independently
~ Assume responsibility
~ Take pride in personal accomplishments
~ Rejoice in other’s accomplishments
~ Tolerate frustration and failure
~ Accept and give constructive feedback
~ Attempt new tasks and challenges
~ Handle positive and negative emotions
~ Offer assistance to others
Causes of Stress and Low Self-Esteem
~ Low Self-Esteem
~ Need for external validation
~ Abandonment fears
~ Failure to develop identity and a sense of competence
~ Failure to understand self and complimentarity
~ Temperament
~ Extrovert vs. Introvert (Environment, Social Preferences, Problem Solving)
~ Sensing vs. Intuitive (Conceptualization, understanding of the world)
~ Thinking vs. Feeling (Moral reasoning, problem solving)
~ Judging vs. Perceiving (Time management)
Causes of Stress and Low Self-Esteem
~ Low Self-Esteem
~ Lack of awareness of personal strengths/talents and values (The Friendship Sales Pitch Activity)
~ A sense of lack of acceptance and approval from significant figures (Parents, friends, society)
~ Low self-esteem fears of failure, rejection, isolation, powerlessness = High Anxiety and/or Depression
~ Teens are highly vulnerable to emotional reactivity
~ Hormone changes
~ Rapid growth requiring more sleep
~ Lack of a larger frame of reference
Self-Esteem Building Activities
~ Know what you want. Goal setting tips SMART
~ Write about your strengths, good traits, achievements, successes.
~ Positive self-talk doesn’t help if it falls on deaf ears
~ Develop Balanced Core Beliefs
~ Build body (and self) acceptance
~ Build Assertiveness
~ Assertive Responses to Criticism
More Causes of Stress
~ Time Management
~ Peer pressure
~ Parental expectations
~ What am I going to do with my life
~ Physical changes
~ Traumatic events and losses
~ Romantic relationships
~ Failure to achieve something
TIPS—Parenting and Reparenting
~ Insist on respect and show respect (to yourself)
~ Be direct, but not too direct
~ Avoid invalidating or minimizing feelings
~ When I was a kid…
~ Compared to other people….
~ In the big scheme of things…
~ Try the miracle question
~ Identify your needs/wants
~ Emotional—to be happy
~ Environmental
~ Socail/friendships
Parenting/Reparenting
~ Pay attention to:
~ All-or-none — What is the middle path?
~ Overgeneralization — Look for exceptions
~ Mindlessness – Stay focused in the present
~ Pessimism – Find the silver lining
~ Be self-compassionate
~ Address negative beliefs about compassion
~ Sadness and grief activation
~ Shame of feeling “needy”
~ Fear that giving up self criticism makes them lazy, weak, unlovable
Summary
~ Adolescents still lack the experiences and “frame of reference” of adults
~ Their physical and hormonal development can make them especially vulnerable to high emotionality
~ Improving self-esteem means improving
~ Self-acceptance and awareness
~ Self-efficacy to handle tasks and emotions
~ Adolescents are still exploring roles and values and need to be encouraged to examine their personal belief systems
Summary
~ Adolescents who continue to strive for external validation and fear abandonment will
~ Maintain high levels of stress
~ Feel helpless and powerless
~ Develop alternate ways of surviving these fears
~ Rejection/self-isolation
~ Antisocial behavior
~ Addictive behaviors
~ Unquestioning compliance to peer pressure
Summary
~ Adults who had difficulty navigating adolescence often benefit from
~ Self-esteem work
~ Identifying and addressing automatic thoughts (including the internal critic)
~ Development of mindfulness—what do YOU need right now
~ Exploration of compassion
~ Identification and resolution of losses from childhood which often manifest in adulthood as resentments
Summary
~ Happiness and recovery is entirely possible
~ All teens will go through phases of dysphoria..help them identify their process
~ The key is to learn to identify
~ What are your goals and values
~ What makes you a good person
~ Which behaviors and thoughts get you closer to being the person you want to be and achieving your goals and values.