Conquering the Critical Inner Voice
Presented by: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes
Executive Director, AllCEUs
CEs can be earned for this presentation at: https://allceus.com/member/cart/index/product/id/611/c/
Objectives
~ Define the critical inner voice
~ Explore common messages from The Voice
~ Identify helpful responses to The Voice
~ Reflect upon why positive affirmations and prior interventions may not have worked.
The Critical Inner Voice
~ It is the defended, negative side of our personality that is opposed to our ongoing development.
~ The voice consists of the negative thoughts, beliefs and attitudes that
~ Oppose our best interests
~ Diminish our self-esteem
~ Warns us about other people
~ Promotes angry and cynical attitudes
~ Creates a negative, pessimistic picture of the world
The Voice cont…
~ It edits our thoughts, controls our behavior, and inhibits our actions.
~ It thinks it is protecting us from being hurt or feeling abandoned
~ It reinforces our feelings of shame and guilt and insufficiency.
~ When managed effectively, the barbs of your inner critic prevent complacency and boredom while nudging you to improve your life
Common “Voices” in Yourself
~ You’re stupid.
~ You’re unattractive.
~ You’re not like other people.
~ You’re a failure.
~ You never get anything right.
~ No one will ever love you.
~ You’re fat.
~ You’re such a loser.
~ You’ll never make friends.
~ You’ll never accomplish anything.
Common “Voices” in Your Career
~ You don’t know what you’re doing.
~ Who do you think you are? You’ll never be successful.
~ You’re under too much pressure. You can’t take it.
~ You’ll never get everything done. You’re so lazy.
~ You should just put this off until tomorrow.
~ No one appreciates you.
~ You’d better be perfect, or you’ll get fired.
~ Nobody likes you here.
~ When are you ever going to get a real job?
~ No one would hire you.
Common “Voices” in Relationships
~ You’re never going to find another person who understands you.
~ Don’t get too hooked on her.
~ He doesn’t really care about you.
~ She is too good for you.
~ You’re better off on your own.
~ As soon as she gets to know you, she will reject you.
~ You’ve got to be in control.
~ It’s your fault if he gets upset.
~ Don’t be vulnerable or you’ll wind up getting hurt.
Responses
~ So what?
~ Who says?
~ Who cares?
~ That doesn’t matter.
~ Prove it!
~ Positive affirmations only help when you actually believe the message.
~ Trying to substitute positive words for negative feelings can delay your self-discovery
More Responses
~ Cognitive restructuring is only effective when you have no subconscious desire to hold onto a negative thought.
~ What is the motivation for holding on to a negative thought
~ Fear of failure, rejection, the unknown?
~ Replace negative thoughts with realistic ones.
~ I have to be the best//impress…
~ I will DO my best.
Identifying Your Critical Inner Voice
~ Recognize the events that trigger your critical inner voice
~ Recognize the specific outside criticisms that support your critical inner voice
~ Become aware of times you may be projecting your self-attacks onto other people
~ Notice changes in your emotions, thoughts, sensations or urges
Visualizing the Real You/Developing Self-Esteem
~ My positive qualities and Abilities
~ My interests and activities
~ My long-term goals
~ My short-term goals
~ Where do I stand in relation to my goals?
~ What is the next step I need to make to achieve my goals?
In Therapy
~ The client will…
~ Identify the content of the negative thought process.
~ Articulate his or her self-attacks in the second person.
~ Discuss insights and reactions to verbalizing the voice.
~ Attempt to understand the relationship between voice attacks and early life experience.
~ Answer back to the voice attacks
~ Develop insight about how the internal critic is influencing his or her present-day behaviors.
~ Plan changes in these behaviors
Other Interventions
~ Stop ruminating
~ Shift your attention
~ Write it down
~ Think about who these voices sound like
~ Direct experience
~ Observational learning
~ Ask what advice you would give a friend who was experiencing self doubt.
Other Interventions
~ Examine the evidence
~ Replace overly critical thoughts with more accurate ones
~ Balance acceptance with self-improvement
~ Balance the negative with the positive
~ Practice self compassion
Summary
~ Everyone has a critical inner voice.
~ In some ways it tries to protect us keeping us in our comfort zone
~ Conquering The Voice requires
~ Understanding of why you may want to hold on to those messages
~ Development of self-acceptance
~ Practice!
In some ways The Voice tries to protect us, keeping us in our comfort zone.{=True ~False}