466 – Developing Self-Esteem and Self-Efficacy
Developing Self-Esteem and Self-Efficacy
Presented by: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes
Executive Director, AllCEUs Counseling Continuing Education
Podcast Host: Counselor Toolbox, Case Management Toolbox
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Objectives
• Understand what self esteem and self-efficacy are, why they are important and how to develop them
The Nature of Self-Esteem
• How people feel about theirself in contrast to who people think people “should” be
• The more rejecting people are of theirself, the more
• Distress people experience
• people seek external validation or withdraw
• In order to develop healthy relationships people need to
• Feel good about theirself
• Get in touch with theirself and their true values
• Believe people are a lovable and worthwhile person
• Choose actions in harmony with their true self
The Gift of Mindfulness
• Teaches people to live in the moment
• Not stuck in guilt or resentment of the past
• Not paralyzed by fear of the future
• Putting one foot in front of the other
• Cornerstone of mindfulness is acceptance
• Nonjudgmental
• Letting be
• Patient
• Mindfulness teaches that when people trust theirself and act with awareness and purpose people become more self reliant
Note: The book will give people access to online, recorded versions of several meditations
Impact of Mindlessness
• Ignoring or invalidating how people feel
• Failing to integrate feelings, thoughts, sensations and urges
• Running on autopilot and not making time for the things that are important (getting us closer to our ideal selves)
• Blindly adopting mainstream messages of who/what we should be
• Not in harmony with who we really want to be
• Not achievable or realistic
Developing a Self-Concept and Efficacy
• You are more than your accomplishments or your bank account.
• What do you want to stand for (values)?
• Download a values list and circle the ones that are important to you.
• Identify how you CURRENTLY demonstrate those.
• Identify other ways you could demonstrate those.
• What things do you do that go against your values? (i.e. impatience)
• What could you start doing today to address one of those?
Developing a Self-Concept
• What things are you good at, and what are your accomplishments?
• What traits/values do those accomplishments and strengths represent? Success, courage, determination, creativity, compassion
• How would your friends describe you?
• Loyal, compassionate, caring, honest…
• How do you demonstrate those?
• Self Esteem Acronym (THINK)
Breathing and the Body
• The constant noise often keeps people from addressing the underlying issues of emotional turmoil
• Life becomes focused on treading water
• Forward goals are exchanged for just surviving
• This reduces self-efficacy
• Mindfulness and self-awareness help people quiet their thoughts
• By making contact with the present moment people can:
• Find their strength
• Learn to grow
• Choose how people wish to respond
Activities
• A Deep Full Breath
• Abdominal breathing signals the brain to slow down and relax. “Rest and digest”
• Simply paying attention to breath often causes it to slow down
• Feel the loving touch (their Breath)
• Life begins and ends with breath
• Breathing helps relax the body and move Qi
• Add visual and auditory breathing reminders
Activities cont…
• In and Out
• Do a body scan and yay attention to what their body is trying to tell them
• Inhale and take in positive affirmations
• Make a list of 1-3 affirmations
• Exhale and let go of stress and negative energy
• Envision stress leaving like a wave/cloud/balloon
• Note: This can also be done with bubbles
• Practice noticing points of tension/tightness/heaviness and feel them relax or loosen as they exhale
• Develop confidence that they can feel feelings and not have to impulsively act.
Thinking and the Mind
• An Impartial Witness (Fly on the wall)
• Stop Sorting (into good and bad)
• See the Whole Room, Not Just the Elephant
• The issue
• The strengths
• Everything/everyone involved
• Check the Hecklers
• Identify self talk
• Examine its source and reliability.
• No Blame
Emotions and the Heart
• Spaciousness
• Recognize all the emotions contained within their heart
• Cultivate warm heartedness
• Plant your garden (What are you going to use your energy to cultivate?)
• Tend and befriend
• Count your Blessings
• Delight for Others
Being in the World
• Claim Emotional Baggage
• Don’t let it stay on the conveyor
• Don’t give it to someone else
• Listen—Just Listen
• Listen to hear and understand (self and others)
• Speak with Compassion (To self and others)
• Write a Job Description
• Goals
• Duties
Mindfulness to Increase Self-Efficacy
• Reflect daily on how they embodied the values most important to them
• Value progress over perfection
• Develop self compassion
• Use backward chaining to identify vulnerabilities which may have contributed to mindless behavior
Summary
• Self esteem begins in childhood
• Being aware of self helps people identify their strengths and develop their “me” identity.
• Part of self esteem development includes
• Values identification
• Understanding wants vs. needs
• Addressing cognitive distortions
• Being aware of sensations, feelings and thoughts
• Helps choose behaviors which are in unison with values
• Helps support people through the difficult moments
• Silences the critics
• Clarifies who people are and what people want